Overdoing The Friendship Speeches
by BlueDragonGirl1
Summary: In almost every episode of Yu-Gi-Oh there is a friendship speech given. Ever wonder what Yugi and his friends really think of those speeches? R&R HUMOR!
1. Chapter 1

Overdoing the Friendship Speeches

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH!!!!!!!!!!

I hereby dedicate this fanfic to Kiona Kina. She was the one who persuaded me to write Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics. (And I apologize ahead of time if this fanfic is offensive to some people. Just to let you know, I have nothing against friendship.)

Yugi's grandfather was defeated in a duel against Seto Kaiba and had to be rush to the hospital probably because he suffered from shock. (Or maybe he passed out because Seto just happened to have a major gas attack because he was so excited that he had won) Now it is Yugi's turn to duel Seto.

"Everyone put your right hands together," Tea ordered everyone.

"What for Tea?" Tristen asked confused.

"JUST DO IT!!!!" Tea screamed at him.

"Fine," Tristen replied slowly holding out his right hand. Yugi, Joey and Tea herself also held out their right hand so they formed a circle.

Tea dug around in her pink, fluffy purse and pulled out a black sharpy marker. "I am going to draw a sign of friendship on our hands."

"What for?" Joey asked.

Tea shoots Joey a death glare as she draws a big smiley face on their hands. "This smiley face represents our friendship," she said.

"That's a gay lookin' smiley," Tristen snorted.

"SHMACK!!!" Tea slaps Tristen hard across the face leaving a red mark then smiles brightly. "This smiley is for Yugi to know that wherever he is, he can rely on us to be there every step of the way," she replied.

"Except when Alias is on," Joey said.

"You got it man," Tristen added as he starts to drool. "Jennifer Gardner is so hot."

"SHMACK!!! SHMACK!!!" Tea slaps both Tristen and Joey violently leaving even bigger red marks. "Yugi needs us guys. He needs his friends," she begged with a sudden change of character.

"Huh! What friends? I didn't know Yugi had any friends?" Joey asked confused.

"But I thought you guys were my friends?" Yugi asked shocked.

"WHOA DUDE!!!" Tristen said slowly moving away from Yugi. "I thought we were just acquaintances. No one informed me that we were going to take it to the next level."

"Tea, you're my friend right?" Yugi asked pleadingly.

"Sure I'm your friend," Tea replied happily then she leaned over to whisper into Yugi's ear. "As long as your agent keeps paying me to act like it," she growled.

"Well at least I have one friend, kinda," Yugi mumbled.

"So, Yugi needs his friends now guys. And as his friends we need to be there for him," Tea said. She pulled a black whip out of her purse. "We ARE his friends, right?

Joey and Tristen anime sweat dropped. "Uh. . .heh heh. . .of course Tea. Whatever you say," they said shaking with fear.

Tea tucked the whip back into her purse. "That's better," she said. She turned to Yugi. "Okay Yugi! Get in there and duel the ass off Seto Kaiba!"

"But Tea," Yugi said as he held up the script. "It says in the script that I start the duel with Kaiba in the next episode."

"Get in there right now," Tea growled.

"But Tea, the script says. . . . . . . . . . ." Yugi began.

"GET IN THERE AND DUEL HIS ASS OFF OR ELSE I'LL KICK YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed.

Yugi, shaking with fear, runs into the room where the duel is to be held.

"Wow! That was harsh Tea," Tristen said.

Tea turns to glare at him and growls threateningly.

Tristen swallowed hard and began to sweat.

Joey looks at the fourth of a smiley that is on his hand. "This does wash off right?" he asked Tea.

"I'm sure it will wash off," Tea mumbled. "Unfortunately, your face doesn't."

The End. (Or is it?)

BlueDragonGirl1: I had this fanfic up in script form but I took it down when I was informed that script form stories were not allowed. (Thank you anonymous reviewer who informed me of that. You literally saved me.) Please R&R and read my other Yu-Gi-Oh fic Merry Naked Christmas.


	2. Chapter 2

Overdoing The Friendship Speeches

Chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own the "Yu-Gi-Oh Friendship Song" (yes, believe it or not, there is a Yu-Gi-Oh Friendship Song! It's on one of the TV series soundtracks).

A special thanks to everyone who reviewed! I had no idea that this particular fanfic of mine would do that well. And thank you BlackDragonGirl04 for letting me borrow your Yu-Gi-Oh soundtrack to use in writing this chapter.

When we had left off, Tea had marked everyone's hand with a friendship symbol (just a smiley nothing too exciting) and had gone on and on (and on and on, etc) about how they, as Yugi's friends, (note: she said "as" Yugi's friends not "since" they were Yugi's friends) had to be there for him during his duel with Seto Kaiba. (Which we never really got too.)

After much yelling, slapping and receiving a list of complaints from Konami (which I do not own either) for airing such a "violent" episode of Yu-Gi-Oh, the writers were forced to remove and rewrite the episode or else they would be annihilated (by the president of Konami).

"So," said the director of Yu-Gi-Oh. "We must re-film this episode again with the new and "improved" script."

"WHAT!" Yugi, Tristen and Tea yelled.

"I said, we must refilm the episode again with . . . . ." the director began but Tea grabbed him by his shirt and threw him into a near by trashcan. "We heard you the first time!" she said slamming the lid over the top of the can.

"NO! I don't wanna do it again!" Yugi cried beginning to throw a temper tantrum. "I don't wanna do a scene with Tea! WAHHHHH!" Yugi sank to the floor and began to wail.

"Hell! I don't want to get slapped again!" Tristen said. "I'm outta here!" He ran into his trailer and came out with an over filled suitcase and ran across the set.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going!" Tea screamed running after him.

"AHHHH! NO!" Tristen yelped throwing his suitcase as her, which opened in midair and pink lingerie flew out at her.

"Hey! What were you doing with my panties?" Tea demanded throwing aside a pair of (clean?) panties that had blown into her face. She jumped forward and tackled Tristen to the ground. Tristen began to struggle, trying to wiggle out of her grasp while squealing like a pig.

Yugi watched them through tear filled eyes then grinned mischievously. 'Now's my chance to escape,' he thought. He turned around but before he could take off, someone's hand clamped down upon his shoulder.

Sweat started to pour down Yugi's face as he turned his head to see Tea standing behind him with Tristen tied up and gagged with one of Tea's panties (once again the issue of cleanliness is brought up) beside her.

Yugi swallowed hard. "Uh . . . . .um. . . . .hi Tea," Yugi said nervously.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tea asked dangerously.

"Um . . . . .uh. . . . .no where," Yugi replied beginning to tremble.

"Good," Tea said satisfied. "Now where is that director?"

"Um . . . . .you threw him into the trashcan remember," Yugi replied.

"I KNOW THAT!" Tea screamed. "Where is the trashcan?" she asked calmly regaining her composure.

"Getting picked up by the garbage truck," Yugi said pointing towards a dark green garbage truck off set.

Tea whirled around and saw a big, burly garbage man throwing the trashcan and the director into the garbage truck.

"NOOO! WE NEED THAT!" Tea screamed waving her hands in the air, trying to flag him down.

The man purposely ignored her (who wouldn't?) and climbed into the driver's side of the truck and drove off.

"COME BACK!" Tea screamed as she ran after the garbage truck.

"Whew! At least that got rid of her," Yugi said relieved.

"Murph!" Tristen mumbled with the gag (panties) in his mouth. Yugi turned towards him and pulled the gag out of his mouth.

"GACK!" Tristen gagged in disgust. "Hurry up and untie me Yugi before Tea . . . . ." A loud explosion interrupted Tristen and a cloud of dust engulfed the set.

After the dust cloud dissipated, Tea appeared carrying the director, who was unconscious and soaked with garbage liquid, over her shoulder.

"Eww! Gross!" Yugi and Tristen said as the smell of garbage entered their noses

Fifteen Minutes Later. . . . . (after the director had regain consciousness and cleaned himself up).

"Ok," the director said having gotten well over his traumatic experience of being trapped in a smelly garbage truck that had also exploded. "Let's begin with take one." He held up the cue board in front of the camera with "Take One" written on it and under it "God I hate my job!" and clicked it. "Action!" He called out.

"Everyone, put your hands together," Tea said, "and I'll mark us with a special sign."

There was a pause as they waited for the next line. The pause grew longer until the director yelled, "CUT! Where is Joey?"

Tristen shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen him."

"Well go look for him!" the director ordered.

Tea pulled out a microphone from her purse and pressed the ON button. "JOEY! GET THE HELL OVER HERE, NOW!" she screamed into the microphone so loud that the loudspeakers let out an ear splitting screech and burst into flames.

"Jeez Tea, no need to yell. I'm right over here," Joey said sitting twenty feet away from her with his eyes glued to a TV screen.

Tea stomped over towards him. "What are you doing?" she asked as she stood over him.

"Watching Alias," Joey replied still staring at the TV. "The greatest show on earth starring the almighty goddess Jennifer Garner. (note: I do not worship Jennifer Garner.)

Tea grabbed the remote and clicked the OFF button and the TV screen went blank.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Joey said.

Tea grabbed him by his ear and started to pull him towards the set. "We are re-filming our 'friendship' episode. Now, come on!" Tea replied.

"No! Must. . . .watch. . . . .Alias!" Joey said desperately grabbing a hold of the chair (which is bolted to the floor) and refused to let go.

"You can tape the episode and watch it later! Now let's go!" Tea growled. With one jerking movement she wrenched Joey away from the chair and TV and dragged him over to the set and the others.

"So good of you to join us Joey," the director greeted him. "Now, take your place!"

Joey mumbled harsh obscenities under his breath and took his place next to Yugi.

"Alright everyone," the director said. "Take Two! Action!"

"Everyone, put your hands together and I'll mark us with a special sign," Tea repeated her line.

"What gives Tea?" Joey asked.

"It's a symbol of our friendship so when Yugi's dueling, no matter how tough it gets, he'll know that he's not alone," Tea replied. A guitar off set began to play softly and Tea began to sing. "Think of us and we'll be there."

"Whoa! Wait a minute. We have to sing?" Joey asked turning to the director.

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Yes Joey. You have to sing. Why else would those little notes be in your script?"

Joey shrugged. "Decoration?" he guessed.

The director slapped his forehead. "No you moron! Let's go on where we left off. Tea, start your solo."

"Think of us and we'll be there," Tea sang.

"Except when Alias is on," Joey sang.

"CUT!" The director yelled.

"No you dumbass!" Tea screamed slapping Joey across the head. "You're suppose to sing what is in the script!"

"FINE!" Joey said. "That's just what you get for separating me from my beloved Alias."

"TAKE FOUR!" the director yelled. "Joey! Just sing your stupid part!"

"In your heart forever," Joey sang sharply.

'Good enough,' the director thought. 'Sigh. The things I do to get paid.'

"Sometimes when you're unsure. Sometimes when you're afraid," Tea and Joey sang together.

"At times it's hard to live, with the choices you have made," Joey sang.

"Turn around and we'll be there," Tea sang.

Yugi turned around to check and see if Tea was indeed behind him.

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Yugi, what are you doing?"

"Well Tea said if I turned around then she will be there," Yugi said.

"NOT LITERALLY!" They yelled at him.

"Hey! Do I get to sing?" Tristen asked.

"Hell no!" the director said. "I hear you singing in the shower every morning and it is A-W-F-U-L!"

"Jeez thanks," Tristen mumbled.

"Can we please continue?" Tea asked.

"Fine. Take five," the director mumbled.

(-)

After singing over and over and over, again and again and again, the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh finally found themselves at the last measures of the 'friendship' song.

"GAHHH! Finally, this song is almost over," Tristen said having done nothing the whole afternoon except listening to Tea and Joey sing over and over again which could drive anyone insane.

"Please let this go fast," Yugi said. A white beard had begun to grow on his chin from what seemed like fifty years of waiting for the song to finally end. "I'll be in my grave if this takes any longer."

"Ok director guy," Joey said. "We're ready."

There was no reply and when they looked over at where the director had been sitting there was a skeleton sitting in the chair with the cue board that informed Take 34,453,908,619,077 (thirty four trillion, four hundred and fifty-three billion, nine hundred and eight million, six hundred and nineteen thousand and seventy-seven).

"Um. . . . .ok," Joey said. "Since the camera is rolling how 'bout we get this over with."

Everyone nodded their heads.

"We'll stick together through the thick and thin. That's the meaning of a real friend. And when it's time to stand the test. Friendship shines upon all the rest."

"CUT!" Tristen yelled. "That's it everyone. We're finally done."

"YAY!" Everyone cheered.

Suddenly, Yugi began to cry.

"Hey Yug," Joey said. "What's wrong?"

"I'm. . . . .I'm. . . .I'm just so happy," Yugi sobbed. "I never knew you guys cared for me that much."

"Dude! I care for you as a human being," Tristen said. "But any farther then that is a no go."

"Wha! What do you mean?" Yugi asked shocked.

"You see Yugi," Tea said. "We only play your friends on TV. Other then that, we absolutely hate your guts."

Yugi's mouth hung open in disbelief. "You. . . .you. . . .mean," he stuttered.

"We act like your friend because we get paid too," they all said.

"Pa. . . .paid," Yugi said as he fainted and fell onto the floor.

They all looked down upon him.

"Do you think we should do something about him?" Joey asked.

"Like what?" Tea asked. "All I want to do is get this episode printed and go home. I have to write up a two thousand word friendship speech for the next episode."

"Well, we could get him some water," Joey suggested.

"Will we get paid?" Tristen asked.

The End?

BlueDragonGirl1: I'm back! When I had put up the first chapter of "Overdoing The Friendship Speeches" (OFS) I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to make it a one shot or if I wanted to make it a series so I decided to wait and see how the reviewers reacted. I was quite surprised by the reaction I got towards chapter one so I decided to write a chapter two to go along with it. Hmm……I wonder if there is going to be a chapter three or four. I guess you'll just have to wait and find out. R/R!

Note: Alias is a kick ass TV show that airs on Wednesdays on ABC at 8:00 p.m. (depending on where you live) Also, if you wish, I will post the full lyrics of the "Yu-Gi-Oh Friendship Song" on my site. Just inform me by email or request it in your review.


	3. Chapter 3

Overdoing The Friendship Speeches

Chapter 3.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.

"Ah! There's nothing like a hot cup of joe in the early morning hours on a quiet Yu-Gi-Oh set," the director said as he sipped from his Styrofoam cup of hot coffee. Quiet on the Yu-Gi-Oh set was a rare thing, except at four o' clock in the morning, and the director wanted to relish every minute of the sound of silence while listening to "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel on his portable tape player before the sound of Tea shrieking like a de-feathered Harpy Lady broke the silence and gave him his daily splitting headache. He winced at the thought. No! He mustn't think about that. He must only think about happy thoughts. HAPPY THOUGHTS! That's what his therapist, Dr. Pan, had said. He popped the cap off his orange prescription bottle and downed three pills: a green, a red and a blue, looking strikingly similar to M&Ms and tucked the bottle back into his pocket. Happy thoughts aplenty. . . . . .

A sudden crash came from the back of the set followed by a scream that could have only been mimicked by a dying, three-legged camel. The director shook his head and sighed. It seemed that Yugi had gotten caught up in the life-sized Blue Eyes White Dragon android . . . .again.

"GAAHHH! HELP! IT'S TRYING TO EAT MEEEEE!" Yugi screamed.

A loud roar echoed throughout the set. The director got off his rear end to help detach the child star. He pitied the giant android having to endure that kind of pain plus the Blue Eyes White Dragon was worth more than his own paycheck. And he didn't want the Pokemon gang from next door to show up and complain about the noise again. He shivered. He still had nightmares about the little yellow mutant they called "Pikachu".

The director shed the thought and came upon the giant android that had managed to clamp its jaw down upon Yugi, who's legs were flailing spasmodically. The director released the mechanical jaw and Yugi popped out sill screaming. "IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!" He scampered off towards the set and the director shook his head. He hated 4:30 a.m. practice sessions.

Tristen came in and managed to avoid the cannibalistic Blue Eyes White Dragon. He looked around as if searching for something. "Dude, where are the donuts?" he asked the director.

'I'm not your mother! Fetch your own damned breakfast,' the director thought but the effects of the M&M looking pills were strong. "They're not here?" he asked innocently.

"Well, duh." Tristen pointed to the empty food table. "I want my damn Krispy Kremes!" He was not use to sacrificing his beauty sleep for early morning run-throughs.

"I could have sworn they were here," the director mused. "Perhaps the cast from next door took them."

"THAT YELLOW MOUSE ATE MY DONUTS?!" Tristen screamed jumping to conclusions. The director allowed the blood to run from his ears.

"Morning, Tristen," Yugi said coming out of the back room with a cup of coffee and none other than a Krispy Kreme donut.

"Good. . .mo. . . .mo. . . . donut," Tristen greeted with drool running down his chin.

"Uh-oh," Yugi said slowly backing away.

"GIVE ME THAT DONUT!!!" Tristen roared and attacked Yugi like a starving animal, wrestling him to the floor. Yugi stuffed the donut down his shirt and struggled to keep it away from Tristen but Tristen was mad and wild like a raging bull. He tore Yugi's shirt like a vicious madman from a bosom-bursting romance paperback and claimed his precious flattened, glazed donut.

"Come to papa!" Tristen exclaimed as he crammed the pastry into his mouth.

Yugi crawled away with the remains of his shirt and Styrofoam cup to a dark corner to mourn the lost of his breakfast. The director could only stare in awe. It seemed that nothing could stand in the way of a man and his donut. The door to the set slammed close and Joey shuffled in, head down and moping.

"Morning, Joey," Tristen said licking the donut glaze from his fingertips.

Joey grunted something unintelligible as his reply and sat in a chair.

"What's with him?" Yugi asked crawling out of the hole he had hidden in.

"He's _still_ bummed that Alias went off the air," Tristen replied.

"But the series went off a year and a half ago," Yugi pointed out.

"It's not only that. The actress who played Sydney got married."

"You mean Joey actually thought he had a chance with her?"

Tristen shrugged. "Guess so." He turned to Joey. "Hey, Joey! Come off it already, dude. Find someone else."

"I shan't never find a flower more lovelier than her," Joey spouted off.

"Oh yeah and he's been doing that too," Tristen added.

The door to the set opened and Tea walked in dressed up like a superstar. She took off her sunglasses and checked her well-manicured nails to make sure they were still well-manicured. "I came by to make sure everything was set before I left," she said as she put her sunglasses back on."

"Left? Where are you going?" Yugi asked and all eyes were on her. Even Joey turned around to see what was going on.

"I'm going on vacation. I need a break," she exclaimed. "You know, it takes a lot more work than you think to come up with all those glorious speeches and keep you lazy bums in line. Not to mention the time it takes to keep my fabulous figure." She turned around for them to see every possible angle of her.

"Uh, nich, Tea," Joey mumbled.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Yugi asked with enough enthusiasm to lay a golden egg.

"Oh, for about a week," Tea said and Yugi silently cheered. With Tea gone, there would be no one to yell at him.

"Well, I'm off to Miami," Tea said checking her watch. "I have to catch the earliest flight in order to get to my hot oil massage appointment at 3 p.m."

All the males stuck out their tongues. "Blech."

"Oh and before I forget." Tea opened the massive thing that hung from her shoulder known as a purse and pulled out a five-pound dictionary and tossed it to Tristen. Tristen, having snail-like reflexes, caught it with his face and it bounced off and Yugi caught it in his hands.

"What's this for?" Yugi asked.

"To write the next episode's friendship speech," Tea informed his. They stared at her blankly. "What? You didn't actually expect me to take my work with me on my vacation?"

"Youse mean youse didnith pre-write ith?" Tristen lisped through a split lip.

Tea ignored him. "Now, the speech has to be at least 2000 words long or at most 3000. Over that, and we'll lose the audience's attention. Now, make sure it has correct grammar and punctuation for the subtitles and transcripts. Good luck everyone! See ya'." Tea left quickly before they could even attempt to stop her. Outside the studio, she laughed maniacally to herself. "That'll teach them," she said. She ran down the drive and jumped into a waiting limo with Seto Kaiba and all the other Yu-Gi-Oh antagonists and they drove off to the airport to enjoy their vacation and their 3 p.m. hot oil massages.

"This has got to be some kind of cruel joke," Tristen said having recovered from his lisp.

Yugi tossed the dictionary to the floor. "What do we do? I can't write speeches."

"Don't look at me," Tristen said. He looked for the director but he had managed to slip out during all the drama. "Damn. Hey Shakespeare!" He called to Joey who was mumbling dark poetry about love and death under his breath. "Write us a friendship speech." He tossed the dictionary to him. Joey caught it and began to recite:

"In the past, I see thou walking in thy line of sight."

"Uh, good, except without all the 'thous' and 'thys'," Tristen said.

"Hey, I'm trying to be poetic over here! Give me a break. Can't you see that my heart has been broken?" Joey snapped.

"Don't worry." Tristen rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that your 'heart will go on'." Over the loud speakers overhead, a flute began to play the "My Heart Will Go On" melody from Titanic and Tristen began to sing causing glass to break, metal to melt, and small animals to die. Even the fierce Blue Eyes White Dragon couldn't stand it. It clenched its jaw in pain. Finally, Joey had to whack Tristen over the head with the power of knowledge aka Tea's dictionary.

"Ow! Hey! That was only to make up for not being able to sing in the last episode."

"There was a good enough reason for that," Joey growled.

"Guys! I've got it," Yugi said. "How 'bout 'I love you. You love me'?"

"Whoa dude!" Tristen said. "We're _supposed_ to be only friends. Leave that stuff for the fanfictions."

Joey shivered. "At least that song is copyrighted so we can't use it."

"Well, at least I tried," Yugi said disappointed. He liked those kinds of fanfictions where he was the hero and everyone worshipped him.

"We shall seek revenge!" Joey said suddenly full of spirit.

"No dude. We shall seek the all-knowing Googely for answers to our problem," Tristen said.

"Or we can just say nice things to each other and call it a friendship speech," Yugi suggested. "Because that's what friends do."

"You're right, Yugi. That's bound to work," Tristen said sarcastically. "I love you, little buddy."

"Awe, really?"

"No. What kind of fantasy are you living in?"

"You both are idiots but I guess there can only be one mastermind to this plan." Tristen and Yugi looked up as Joey swung down from the ceiling suddenly dressed in a skin-tight leather bodysuit that showed his. . . . . . .masculine qualities.

"That outfit is definitely _not_ G rated," Tristen commented wide-eyed. Yugi stared with his mouth wide open, ready to park a truck in.

"I'm going to prove to Jennifer Garner that I _am_ worthy!" Joey shouted to the ceiling as if anyone else was listening. "This mission is a perfect way to stage my superior manliness and spy skills."

"Do you think he's been drinking?" Yugi asked Tristen.

"At this early in the morning?" Tristen took another full-look at Joey and almost gagged. "So what's this 'plan' of yours?"

Joey rubbed his hands together. "I call it 'Operation Hate Speech'."

( - )

Tea lay on her stomach receiving her second hot oil message from a sexy man with bronze biceps, wishing she could take him home with her and keep him as a pet. She looked up at the clock and smiled. Two minutes until the new Yu-Gi-Oh episode aired which meant two minutes until she got to see the boys make fools of themselves.

"Pedro, be a dear and turn on the television," she called back to her masseuse. The television in front of her turned on and she watched the usual opening credits. If everything played out as planned then the boy's stupidity would drop the ratings. The producers would panic and beg her to come back after hearing the rumors that she was planning on leaving the show. They would probably offer her a pay raise too, which had been long deserved since day in and day out she had to pretend she was actually friends with those geeks. She shivered. She was too good of an actress obviously with all those fanfictions on the web. Did the fans even think about how she would feel if she had to make out with Yugi? She watched the new episode, yawning during the boring parts then came the moment of truth. She held onto the edge of the table in anticipation.

"You know Yugi, now that we're stuck in this cave with no hope of escaping, there's some thing I've been meaning to say," Joey said. Tea wished they could get better writers.

"What's that, Joey?"

"I hate your ffffing guts."

Tea's mouth fell open.

"Well, Joey, I think you're full of dog ssss," Yugi countered.

Tea shook her head not believing what she was hearing. They were supposed to come up with some lame friendship speech and stutter pathetically through it. Not do this! And what the hell was Joey wearing? Her eyes almost popped out of her head when the camera got a full body shot of Joey and she could now see him below the waist. So, it was true after. The camera really did add ten pounds. . . .

The boys continued to throw hate slurs at each other, about each other, and about each other's mothers. Suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore. She jumped up, knocking over a flask of hot oil onto Pegasus lying on the table beside her, scalding him. He yelped but she ignored him and ran from the room wearing only a towel. She hopped into a waiting taxi and told the driver to step on it. When he told her that he was on break, she shoved him out of the driver's seat and into incoming traffic and sped down the street.

Those boys were going to get it.

**BlueDragonGirl1**: Finally got around to updating. Merry Christmas everyone! **R&R!!!**


	4. Chapter 4: The End

"Overdoing the Friendship Speeches"

Chapter 4: The End

Behind the scenes, the boys were laughing as they rewatched the episode they had just filmed, fist-bumping each other when the 'moment of truth' came. Tea had virtually screwed them over by leaving them to write a friendship speech at the last minute but they had showed her!

"We totally showed, Tea!" Tristen said. "Bet she's not going to leave the speech writing to us ever again."

"Yeah, but that was still ffffing awesome!" Yugi cheered.

Joey swatted him across the head. "Don't say that word. It's bad!"

"But you say it all the time?"

"Yeah, but it's cooler when I say it," Joey flexed his sorry-excuse for muscles under his elastic tight leather bodysuit which shoved off his . . . . finer qualities.

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Tristen asked ignoring Joey's pitiful figure because it burned his eyes.

"How 'bout we go to the park and get some ice cream?" Yugi suggested. "And then later you guys can take turns pushing me on the swings!"

Tristen and Joey exchanged awkward glances then simultaneously shivered. "Yugi, buddy," he paused about to insult his co-star for the several-ith time but decided on a better, and crueler, alternative. "That's a great idea!" Joey's jaw dropped off his face. "Why don't you go down to the park and Joey and I will meet you there after we change out of these clothes?" Joey began to bang his head against a table.

Yugi took no notice of Joey's antics. Tears of joy were welling up out of his eyes and Tristen backed away slowly. "You really mean it?" Yugi asked.

Tristen held up his hands. "Yeah, sure, Yugi. Now go head down to the park and find an ice cream stand or something."

Yugi couldn't contain his joy. He squealed loudly, like a Gackt fan girl, and pounced on Tristen to hug him regardless of his hands being up. "I wuv you guys!"

"Greeeeeeat! Now get off me!" Yugi got off of Tristen who calmly brushed himself off. "Ahem, so see you in ten minutes?" Yugi nodded his head like a loyal lap dog and bounded off in the direction of the door.

Joey sat up with several red welts across his forehead and looked at Tristen. "Now, was that really worth it?"

"Of course! It'll give us some time away from him," Tristen said. "I wonder how long it'll take him to realize that we set him up?"

"Oh! So that's what you were planning," Joey mused finally getting it.

"Right you are, Captain Obvious."

"Cool." They sat in a silence that sustained for little over an hour. "So now what?"

Suddenly, a brick wall came tumbling down sending loose bricks and mortar flying everywhere. Joey and Tristen dove over the television they had been watching and peered over the top to see what had taken the wall down. They hadn't realized that the studio was going to be under construction.

When the dust settled, Tea stood amongst the destruction, hair disheveled, muscles bulging, and covered with nothing more than a towel.

"Oh, hey, Tea!" Tristen greeted with a wave. "How was Miami?"

Tea growled and threw off her towel. The boys gasped but since this is anime, Tea appeared to be wearing a sailor uniform she had stolen from one of the Sailor Scout characters next door to the Pokemon studio. Both boys breathed a sigh of relief, having been spared from an emotional scar that they would have been forced to carry with them for the rest of their lives, that no amount of therapy would have ever been able to fix, that would have caused horrific nightmares, that would . . . .

"Some people may think I'm a skank but I _do_ have a sense of decency!" Tea declared.

"That's nice to know!" Tristen said. "Would have been nice if you had told us that _before_ you had flung off the towel."

Tea glared at him. "I have a bone to pick with you guys." She paused and counted by pointing to each one of them. "Where's the midget?"

"He, uh, went to the park," Joey said. Tristen smacked him across the head and stood up. "We tried to stop him, Tea. We honestly tried, but he was like a craze animal!"

"What?" Tea asked perturbed. Yugi was a little freak with two-tone, pointy hair and a low self-esteem problem. He was easily taken advantage of and wasn't that hard to handle.

"Oh God! It was awful!" Joey stumbled out from behind the television with his hand thrown up to his forehead. "It was so bad; I can't even remember what he did!" He jabbed Tristen in the side to continue.

"Oh yeah, um!" Tristen started to produce fake tears for effect. "He started ranting and raving about the speech and how he was in control and how we were his. . . his. . ." Tristen sniffed after each pause.

"It's okay, buddy. Take it at your own pace," Joey consoled him patting him on the back.

"HIS BEOTCHES!" Tristen wailed. Tea visibly twitched. "I was so afraid. He said if we didn't do what he told us to do then he. . .he. . .he." He couldn't go on.

"He'd bring out the whip and spurs," Joey said matter-of-factly.

"THE WHIP AND SPURS!" Tristen screamed wide-eyed. "Don't let him get me, Joey! Don't let him get me!!"

Tea crossed her arms in front of the king-sized bow that was custom on every Sailor Scout's uniform. "So, what you're trying to tell me is that the moment after I left, Yugi, our wimpass, little Yugi, went all S&M culture on you guys and beat you into submission?"

"Hells yes! Where do you think these came from?" Joey asked pointing to the welts on his forehead.

"And why do you think he's wearing that outfit?" Tristen mumbled dropping out of the character of the raped and molested for a moment.

Tea had been trying not to make eye contact with Joey the entire time but at the mention of his outfit, her retinas were instantly burned out of her eyes. Luckily, she had a spare in her brassiere which she pulled out and shoved into her eyes. "Now tell me why I shouldn't BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU GUYS!!" She screamed but she contained herself and went on. "For writing that HORRENDOUS friendship speech?"

"Yugi did it." Joey quickly said.

"Yeah, he thought it would be cool to cuss each other out," Tristen asked. "And if we didn't," he nodded to Joey's attire. "_That_ was going to happen."

Tea raised an eyebrow. "So why aren't you in tears?" she asked Joey suspiciously.

"I've been beat so far into submission," Joey said in a monotonous voice. "Quietly I am contemplating suicide."

"Good, that will make my job easier," Tea replied skipping over any form of consolation.

"So, aren't you going to do anything about, Yugi?" Tristen asked carefully.

"No, why should I. He just beat me to what I was planning on doing to you." Joey and Tristen suddenly became very fearful for their lives, more so than they were used to. "And I think I still need to teach you two a lesson." She slowly started to stalk towards them.

"Uh, look, Tea. You really don't want to do that," Joey said with sweat pouring down his face.

"And why wouldn't I?" Tea asked cynically. She was enjoying this.

"Because Yugi has been posting lemon fanfictions of you and him on the internet," Tristen piped up. The entire room became silent except for the sound of Tea's jaw hitting the floor.

"He has?" Joey asked. "I didn't know that! Where?" Tristen thoughtlessly punched him in the face.

Tea began to twitch violently. "Are. . .you. . . .serious?"

"Uh-huh," Tristen said fearful of what her result reaction would be.

Tea straightened up, pick her jaw up off the floor and turned around. She stomped off towards the door, leaving crater size indentions in the floor as she went and slammed the door.

"Oh, dude! That was close!" Joey said holding his jaw.

"What do you say we take a vacation?" Tristen asked. "Both of us just get far, far away."

Joey stared at him, completely baffled. "Dude, don't do that. You're beginning to sound like Yugi."

They heard a chorus of pops like knuckles and various joints crackling very, very loudly.

Joey turned back to Tristen. "Yeah, sure, whatever, Let's go, go GO!"

(-)

Yugi sat on a bench at the park busily licking away at his fifth ice cream cone, oblivious to the black cloud that had settled over the park. The small children were abandoning their toys in the sand and fleeing to their mothers while picnic goers packed up their baskets and ran with an Olympic track runner's speed. Something wicked was coming their way.

Yugi continued to happily eat away at his ice cream cone every so often checking his watch for the time. Joey and Tristen should have been here by now.

Something thudded down next to him and he looked up to see Tea wearing one of those sexy Sailor outfits. Funny, it looked exactly like the ones the Sailor Scouts wore right next to their studio. Instantly, all his pubescent fantasies came rushing to him and he blushed. This was like a dream come true.

Tea pulled out a black whip but to her surprise and disgust instead of cowering in fear, Yugi smiled brightly.

A dream come true!

The End.

BlueDragonGirl1: So that's it. OFS is finally completed. Hope you enjoyed it. This chapter was a bit random because I wrote it off the cuff without a plan. But off course the other chapters were written without much of a plan either. **R&R!! **(And don't forget to read the other Yu-Gi-Oh fic "Merry Naked Christmas").


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